Sometimes our son, who is now a father of two, apologizes for acting in certain ways as a younger person.
He spent his summers between college years working as a counselor at a Lutheran camp for kids. He told us after his first summer of hanging out with 4th and 5th grade boys that he saw himself in one of them. It was the boy who was most annoying. The clown of the group. The one who didn't know when to stop singing the "Barnie fart song." He said he felt like he should apologize to us and to his elementary teachers for being "that kid."
I admit I silently reveled in the apology. But I also encouraged him not to be hard on himself. Kids at that age are navigating so many things; emotions, social dynamics, fears, frustrations, fitting in, and so much more. At that age there is so much you don't know. There's so much yet to learn and understand about yourself and about the world around you.
That conversation made me realize there's still so much I am still learning about myself and about the world around me. Yes. I've grown in self-awareness since 5th grade. I've learned quite a bit about the world since then, too. But here's the thing - I still have so much to learn - in both those arenas.
How open am I to still learning? How willing am I to try to understand another's experiences or perspectives? A quick judgement comes easier to me than the desire to listen well to what someone else is saying. Are my convictions too settled? Am I non-defensive enough to accept constructive criticism from others? Am I willing to admit that I could be wrong? Am I confident enough in God's unconditional love for me to be open to the transforming work of the Spirit?
May I be so open, Loving Creator.
Goodness and peace to all of you.
Ruth
P.S. I wrote this post before the recent school shooting in Georgia by a 14-year-old boy. A boy whose brain is not nearly developed enough to handle an assault weapon - a weapon I believe should be banned for citizens of all ages in our country. My heart cries out to God over such devastating consequences. As a friend recently said - I will be bringing my thoughts and prayers to the voting booth.
